you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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