Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
