Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
