Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
