it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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