I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize