I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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