the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
