I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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