You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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