this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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