Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
