Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
