hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
