Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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