Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
