I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
