So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
