my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hippo gnu deer
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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