I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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