Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
