and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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