What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
