At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
