I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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