absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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