I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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