just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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