i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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