he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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