you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I stole a fireplace last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
