He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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