How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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