I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
