I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
