i would punch a child for taco bell
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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