so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize