So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize