I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize