How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
