Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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