You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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