that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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