Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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