he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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