I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my liver is dry heaving
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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