i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have fence marks all over my body
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
