I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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