I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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