it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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