why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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