Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
