it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
