yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize