There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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