no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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