its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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