did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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